I hope that this does not come across as arrogant or haughty, but it's really designed to help ya'll meet more people at top courses with the assumption that maybe you don't belong to any. So here's a small peekaboo behind the curtains of what's my own perspective and insights I've seen from others. It's not hard and fast, there are plenty of exceptions.
So I thought I would do a PSA on this, since I've gotten a lot of requests over the years through Boxgrove, Thousand Greens, Instagram, etc. I belong to several very highly regarded clubs (e.g. top 50) and have close enough friends that I can call at a moments notice at other highly regarded courses because we are friends and will have a good time. I do not utilize my head pros often as I like to play with members vs. checking boxes.
So here are some do's and don'ts in no particular order. I'm not including the fact that the number one thing is to belong to the best local course as well as a highly regarded national membership, so let's just say those aren't in the cards. This is based on my own personal thoughts as well as conversations I've had with friends at these clubs. The bottom line is that a fun, gracious and emotionally intelligent personality is what is winsome. Those aren't going to be traits that you can develop easily, so if that's not natural for you, well, do your best.
- Do not introduce yourself as a rater, especially with the assumption that I'm impressed or would like my course to be rated. The last person I'm going to host is someone who has played "20-30 top courses" (not a lot) and thinks that they now understand golf architecture on my home turf and can educate me. I've had the opportunity to become a rater and turned it down because it would severely limit my access. How is that going to make my round of golf hosting you fun? It won't if a rating is the goal. If you are a rater, I would say "I am NOT rating this course and just want to have fun"
- Do not say "I want to add your course(s) into my rotation of other XYZ courses in the area and want to add your club into the rotation." How is that going to make my round of golf hosting you fun? It won't if a box checking is the goal.
- Be enthusiastic. People that aren't enthusiastic are never getting invited, and people that don't show enthusiasm throughout are never getting an invite back anywhere. Learn about the course before you go, be fun.
- Do not ask about the price, period. If you're cheap, bye-bye. I'm not looking to run a charity or associate myself with people who question the value of the course. Remember this truth: IT'S ALMOST ALWAYS MORE EXPENSIVE FOR MEMBERS TO PLAY THAN GUESTS WHEN YOU FACTOR IN COSTS.
- On a related note, the question will become in the background if you belong to a lower tier club in the area. If you say something like "the better club is not worth it" it raises red flags and now I'm like "am I dealing with a cheapskate?" But if you say "I just can't afford it or I can't get in" then I want to help. Otherwise, it's a serious red flag.
- While on the course, be super positive, buy drinks for everyone, become a host of sorts. Show that you're a good time. (BTW, I can usually ferret out who's not this way beforehand and I'm not super interested in someone who's not fun and generous)
- While on the course, tip and be super nice. Take care of the staff generously, take care of the caddies generously. Pay for your hosts caddies. These are my family. Again, I can usually figure out who's this way beforehand and if I sense rudeness, you might even get removed from an invitation.
- If cold turkey asking for access, who are you? Where are you from, what style of player are you? If I don't know that stuff, I'm not willing to risk several hours with you. Sorry.
- Always bring a gift. My go to is a yeti with a log for everyone, because who doesn't need a yeti? Everyone has too many hats. Yeah, I agree a tad cheap...
- Spend money in the pro shop. I've now got so many shirts, I buy other stuff.
- Write a hand-written and sincere letter after the round.
- Bring lots of cash and Venmo. Maybe your host likes to gamble. Well, you've gotta accommodate...
The main rule is to be fun, dynamic, sincere, enthusiastic and positive. Maybe those aren't your natural talents, but be very nice. Put yourself out there and be super kind. Say you are just at a muni and want to play some better courses, something along the lines of "I don't have a lot of money so I can only afford a muni, but I am super passionate about golf and have heard XYZ (with specifics) about your course and it's my dream to play. I'm super focused on making your round fun because I know how much of a sacrifice it was for you to be a member (and maybe even took 5 years on a waiting list) and I promise to honor and cherish your traditions, etc. I was born here, I play golf with my children, etc..." Then be super fun at the course/polite, be super gracious and you just might find that their networks of other peer clubs start opening up.
So in short, be fun, positive, open and polite. For example, Putterho has a permanent invitation everywhere from me whether my clubs or not.